I'm afraid my learning will stop!

March 12, 2014

Hot couple in the 60's!

In a phone conversation with my Dad the other day, he told me that these ladies that are going to come in to their house to help with my Mom are going to start coming very soon . . either this week or next!  He's very nervous about it for a few reasons: 

#1 My mom keeps saying that she doesn't need to be babysat . . and my Dad doesn't know how she's going to handle having them there eight hours a day/5 days a week. Instead of telling her that they are going to be there just for her, we are saying that they are maids of sorts . . gals that will help them with laundry, cleaning, organizing, and just being there for my Mom if my Dad leaves and if she wants to go somewhere, or needs a ride somewhere. She'll either love it or hate it . . . we will see . . fingers crossed!

#2 My Dad is afraid that once he has these two gals in the house to help him and to allow him to come and go as he needs and wants to, he is nervous that his "learning will stop" . . . "I'm afraid my learning will end . . . my test will end." He feels this trial is a lot for him, as I feel it's a lot for him and for all of us! Although I know his life will be relieved a little with this help, I still think things are going to be tough as he'll still have her nights and on weekends.  And, it's not like he will leave her very often anyway . . . but just when he needs to if he has a correlation meeting, a tennis match or volunteering at his free clinic downtown.  I told my Dad that I think he's already passed this big test! From my viewpoint, my Dad has been a trooper and is passing with flying colors. Of course his patience hasn't always been perfect, as I'm sure mine wouldn't be either!  I think he's doing awesome!  His response to me was, "No, maybe I've failed the test!" That makes me feel bad because I think he's done the very best that he can and knows how! 

Another thing my Dad told me in that same conversation, when I told him to "hang in there!" is, "There's only one thing that's harder than being alone and single . . . and I won't tell you what that is."  I'm pretty sure I know just what he meant!  The only thing harder than that is dealing with a wife of 49 years that no longer knows who you are, can no longer do her own hair or make-up, pick out her own clothes or entertain herself.   My Dad has been doing it ALL lately . . . all the cooking (including for her Book Club luncheon hosted by them) to curling and styling her hair, to driving her everywhere she goes.  This makes me sad because my Dad has obviously thought about how hard and lonely it is going to be to be alone one day. 

My mom, in her right mind, would be so sad and embarrassed to know she is such a challenge.  She would never want to be a burden on anyone.  We serve her because we love her.  I'm paying her back for all she has done for me and our family . . . and I'm sure my Dad probably feels the same!


Flashing back to a little over 7 years ago . . .


January 24, 2007

            We had a good time shopping a week or two ago when we went shopping for my birthday.  We shopped for about an hour and then went to lunch.  My sister Paige came too for some “girl time”.  My mom tried to talk my Dad into coming too to help us pick out some furniture for our front entry way in our house, but he didn’t want to come because, he said, it sounded like it was a “girl’s trip”.  We didn’t end up finding what I was looking for on that trip, but then last Saturday Sarah and I met my Mom to see a console table that she had found.  It ended up being perfect and just what I was looking for.  She and my Dad bought it for me for my birthday. I love that she remembered and continued to look for me.

            Being with my Mom seems so normal, and like it always has, except for occasionally she’ll seem a little lost and confused.  She knew all throughout our shopping trip that we were looking for a black table to go in our front entry way, but every once in a while she would ask me if black would match alright.  I kept assuring her that black would definitely be the best color for it.  

     
       My Mom called me yesterday morning to find out how we are liking our new table.  I’m so happy that she still remembers things like that.  During our conversation though, she told me a story about what had happened between my Dad and sister the night before twice within about five minutes.  I thought for sure that she might catch herself, but she didn’t.  For the most part though, things are normal and as good as they can be under the circumstance.  

 My parents a long time ago . . . 80's? 

            I just had a few minutes to sit down and read the newspaper a few minutes ago.  For some reason I always like to read the obituaries.  Often times I will find someone I know or I just like to read about people and their lives.  Today I came across an obituary of a lady I don’t know that made me cry.  The beginning of it said, “Our angel mother, grandmother, Ganeil Bishop, returned to her Heavenly Home January 22, 2007 at age 75, after a 15 year struggle with Alzheimer’s.”  She left behind nine children, many grandchildren, and even great grandchildren, “with three more expected soon.”  I’m trying to figure out exactly why it makes me cry to read this.  I guess I feel relieved for the family that they no longer have to watch their angel mom and grandma suffer anymore.  I think I also feel upset that she would live for fifteen long years with such a horrible disease.  That seems way too long!  I guess a lot of the qualities about this lady also remind me of my great mom.  “As a valiant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she has an unwavering testimony of the Gospel and the Savior Jesus Christ . . . she exemplified many talents here on earth, using them to bless the lives of all around her.  Children flocked to her side.  She loved everyone she met and they loved her.”  This makes me think of my Mom and how she would always be willing to help out someone in need.  When her friend with MS needs something, she drops everything to go help her.  When one of her old nursing careers students would drop in, she would drop everything, give them her full attention, and make them feel like they were the most important person in her life.  She even makes the guy feel good that comes by our house selling cleaning supplies a few times a year.  I’ve tried hard in my life to follow her great example!

            My Mom strongly desires to get away for a little vacation down to their condo in St. George or somewhere.  She needs a break and I hope they can find a time to give her one.  Next week she goes to Denver to help Katie out with their new little baby girl, Rachel.  After that, maybe they can sneak away to St. George.