March 22, 2014
As some of you know, my husband (Matt) has a radio show on one of Utah's big radio stations every Saturday morning . . KSL News Radio . . with his show topics usually revolving around some sort of relationship topic. Last month, right around Valentine's Day, he did a show he titled, "How to Keep Your Love Alive." He talked about how love is so easy to attain when you first start dating and get married, but then as time goes on, it sometimes seems to fade and doesn't come so easy anymore. It takes work! The discussion with callers was about various ways to keep the love alive in marriages . . . all year round and not just around Valentine's Day!
One of his callers that day was a guy named Bill -- an 88 year old man who lost his wife about 5 years ago to Alzheimer's disease, after 50 great years of marriage! Of course I immediately thought of my parents! They've also almost been married almost 50 years! You couldn't help but like this man right off the bat. Such a sweet guy! He told about a contest that he and his wife would continuously have in their marriage where they tried to outdo each other on who could make the other happier . . . and he said that she always won! :) He then went on to say how he missed his wife and has happy thoughts of her, "and would even take her back with the Alzheimer's." Knowing second hand how difficult it is to care for someone with Alzheimer's, I was touched to hear him say that. I'm sure I don't even know the half of how hard it is for these caretakers!
Bill's love was so strong for this woman that he said he would even take her back with her disease! That's pretty amazing! He went on to say that it was all so worth it and he loved every minute!! It makes me wonder how he handled the hardest days? Did he ever lose his cool? Did he lose his patience on occasion? Did he ever feel depressed and feel lonely? My belief is that of course he did! He's only human! I think when it's all said and done, hopefully it's the good memories that prevail and the most difficult memories fade! I hope that happens with my Dad! It happens in other aspects of life . . . you could have the most difficult labor and delivery at one point and then be having another baby and doing it all over again a few years later. Bad memories DO fade! That's probably one of the tender mercies of the Lord . . after going through a difficult time.
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| "GP" (Grandpa) Bill (a different Bill than the one mentioned above) and "GG" (Grandma) Margaret, 2003! |
If you want to hear the brief conversation with Bill on the radio, click the following link:
Flashing back to 6.5 years ago . . .
August 8, 2007
It’s been a long while since I’ve written. Grandpa died on April 26th (photo above) . . . that was hard . . we will miss him! I’ve gotten out of the routine of writing since the kids have been out for summer break! Pretty soon I’ll be able to get back into some kind of routine again . . . hopefully!
Right now my parents are in Africa on one of their medical trips. Lately they have gone a lot more often than before. It seems that they have had at least two trips a month for a while. This one is a bit different in that my brother Steve is on a little break from his medical school and was able to go with them. I’m anxious to hear all about it.
Interestingly my Mom seems just about the same or maybe even better than she did 5 months ago when I last wrote. Most of the time, it is just my same old Mom that I’m dealing with, with the same sense of humor as always and the great loving person that she is. She does continue to ask the same questions over and over, but that doesn’t bother me . . . only to the extent that I wish it wouldn’t happen anymore. Every once in a while I hope and dream that maybe this is all a nightmare and maybe things will just change back to the way she used to be. Unfortunately I know deep down that is never going to happen. This is a trial that we are all to face for a reason and although it’s very painful at times, I can see how it will make us all stronger! For the most part, I am handling it well right now. I am happy to report that I haven’t shed any tears about it for a few months. There are other times that I cry about it for days in a row. I think I’ve come to terms with the whole thing.
I find myself avoiding the topic of how my parents are doing. Usually I don’t say much, other than the fact that they’re happy and traveling a lot. I’m afraid I’ll break down if I tell people the truth of how my Mom has lost her short term memory and often acts confused, and that my Dad is having a hard time with the fact that his wife is just not the same.
Last weekend Matt and I went to our 20-year high school reunion, which was so fun to see people that we had not seen for years! One gal came up to me and asked in a very concerned voice, “How is your Mom?” This caught me off guard and I asked, “What do you mean?” She replied, “I was just talking to my Mom and she told me that your Mom has Alzheimer’s!” This really surprised me because my Mom has never been officially diagnosed by any doctor as far as I know. I guess there are people out there who are diagnosing her themselves, as I guess we have also done. This also upset me a bit because my Mom would be devastated if she knew that people were talking about her as having Alzheimer’s. Obviously people are talking.
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| Mom and I in about 2009 . . . at nephew Matthew's baby blessing! |
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