My Mom said they had a good time in Colorado with my brother and his family last week. When I saw her on Sunday, her finger and toe nails were all painted and pretty, and when I asked her about it she told me that "someone just pulled me aside and wanted to do my nails the other day." I'm pretty sure it was my sis-in-law Jennie that painted them. :)
My Mom appears thinner to me lately. She's always been thin and in great shape, but I wonder if she's losing weight? I know she went through a time that she craved her sweets and would occasionally forget she had already eaten a dessert, and would have another, and probably gained a few extra pounds. Maybe she's now forgetting to eat sometimes . . . I don't know!
We had a fun family gathering on Conference Sunday with my sister and her husband who are moving back to Utah after living in Hawaii for the last 5 years with their 5 girls. My Mom was in her usual mode of being in the kitchen most of the time, cleaning up and doing dishes. For the most part, she still takes part in our conversations at the dinner table, although much of the time she doesn't hear us right and often asks us to repeat back what we just said. Is that part of the disease or is she just a little hard of hearing? I'm not sure, but maybe it's a little of both! I think a little hearing loss may run in her family. I love the fact that my Mom still has her sense of humor, and even when she might not get a joke (as I don't either sometimes :)), or understand exactly what people are talking about, she is really good at faking it. My Mom still has her usual social grace and that is a great thing!
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| Me, two of my sisters, and MY MOM . . . April 6, 2014 |
"If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?"
At first my Mom quickly said, "I don't think I'd change anything." But then after thinking about it for a few minutes, she added: "I've always been a little jealous of people that are confident to speak out. I haven't been as "glib" and well spoken as I would like to be. . ."
"I was a school teacher . . a good teacher . . I think the kids liked me and I had a good time teaching and was always comfortable there . . so it was mostly with my peers in social situations where I wish I was a little quicker on my feet!" . . .
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| My Mom and her sis, Deanne in the early 50's . . in the gully behind their house! |
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| "Hot Mama" sisters at the commissary in the 80's? |
That just makes me sad! People just don't realize how very aware some of these people are who have Alzheimer's! From the initial diagnosis of Alzheimer's, I think many just assume that one's insight is completely lost . . which is definitely not the case! I think a tender mercy is when one finally loses their insight and doesn't realize that something is wrong. I believe we might be getting closer to that point!
Flashing back to 5.5 years ago . . .
August 7, 2008
One of my Mom and Dad’s really good friends just recently found out she has colon cancer and just went through surgery to remove it! What an interesting part of life it is to grow old and to watch your own body and your friend’s body’s fall apart. Amongst my parents and their friends, there has been cancer scares, strokes, Parkinson’s disease, etc. These are the people that my parents have known and loved and traveled with for years! I’m not looking forward to that day when myself and my own friends start to fall apart! Actually, I’m only 39 and I already feel my body getting older and somewhat falling apart! :/
I know I've said this many times, but I can't get over what an interesting disease Alzheimer’s is! It is fascinating! I’ve also mentioned before that I am so grateful that my Mom, for the most part, is just her normal, great self. Talking to her lately, I honestly hardly know that anything is wrong. She is still just as loving and caring and fun . . . and sometimes I find myself wondering if this is all just a huge mistake, and perhaps she really doesn’t have anything wrong with her at all. She seems so 'with it' and good. It’s just that darn short term memory that we’re all noticing, and thank goodness, she is not aware that she asks the same questions repeatedly! She is definitely aware that she can’t remember like she used to and that frustrates her, but I’m grateful for the fact that she believes all is well with everything else! I talked to her on the phone a few days ago and we were talking about her friend that had a few complications with her colon cancer surgery and she said something to the effect of, “I would much rather have to deal with something like that than lose my mind . . . your Dad would probably say that I am losing my mind! I sure hope not!” I assured her that she sure seems normal to me . . . and she was glad!
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| Tennis in St. George, 2011 |
She expressed to me yesterday on the phone that she’s very frustrated with the game of tennis right now because she can’t ever keep track of the score and she feels bad that she always has to ask her friends what the score is. “No wonder they don’t ask me to play very often anymore!” That makes me sad! I think her tennis days might slowly be coming to an end. She also says her eyesight and hearing aren’t what they used to be! I will continue to pray that my Mom can do what she loves for as long as possible!
I feel bad that many people are talking behind her back about her having Alzheimer’s disease and she has absolutely no idea. She would be mortified in her totally right mind to find out people are talking about her! I know when I meet her back in heaven one day, she’s going to be mad at me for keeping it all quiet and pretending it wasn’t happening. I think she’ll understand though that we’re just protecting her and her feelings because we love her so much! She’ll forgive me! I really believe she will!
When my Mom tells me the same thing over again, I’ve been wondering if it’s best to say, “Oh yea, you mentioned that earlier”, or just to pretend it’s the first time she’s telling me. For example, the other day she called me to tell me there’s a great sale at a clothing store called Chicos and that she had already bought some great items! (The clothes are 50% off the already sale prices.) She then called the next day to tell me the exact same thing and we had the exact same conversation. In that case and in moments like that, I decided it’s best just to go on as if it was the first time hearing it! Why make her feel stupid?
I am grateful that my parents continue to travel with their friends quite a bit. I’m happy that they’re keeping busy and having some great times! This next month they will be going on a bike trip with their dinner group friends and then up to Seattle to spend some time with my Dad’s cousins. I hope both their health allows them to do it for many more years!
It’s becoming more and more common that my Mom will set out in her car to find a certain location and she will not be able to find it. She has never had trouble finding addresses until now! A few months ago one of her best friends, Anne S., invited her to a big fundraising luncheon that she had planned. It was in downtown Salt Lake and after an hour or so of looking, my Mom gave up. The problem is, she does have a cell phone, but often forgets it or doesn’t remember people’s numbers. Anyway, that really frustrated her. She had a similar experience a few weeks ago where she set out in Utah County somewhere to find a baby shower for one of my parent’s missionaries. A few hours late, she finally arrived. I told her when things like that happen, she needs to call me and I can help her. She was literally around the mountain from me and I could have gotten to her in 10 or 15 minutes. I would have gladly helped her but I’m not sure she had her phone with her that day anyway!
Again, I am grateful for you, my computer friend that will let me "cry on your shoulder". It really helps to get these feelings out! Thanks! :)
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