My Dad, along with Mafi - the loving and amazing hired help that comes into their house for a few hours each day - have been slowly cleaning out closets and drawers and cupboards at my parent's house. I think my older sister is helping a little too, and I would imagine my Mom has been trying to help as well, but mostly I think she is just confused as to why my Dad is giving away and throwing out so much "stuff"! After living in their house for about 38 years, I think they have accumulated A LOT! Moving from room to room and closet to closet, my Dad is giving and throwing a ton away . . . and he says it feels so good! I'm sure it does! He proudly shows off his clean and organized book shelves and closets when I go over there. He says it's really hard though to do when my Mom is around! She just doesn't understand! Lately she has been upset because she thinks my Dad is giving away her "parent's things" and can not understand why my Dad would want to get rid of "their stuff". Somehow she thinks a lot of this "stuff" is her parent's, although they have been gone now for 35 and 45 years! I guess she even got so mad the other day that she left their house in a huff! I never heard the details about where she went and how long she was gone, but I guess it turned out ok!
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| Mom and Dad came to my youngest two's piano recital this past week! |
I can't believe how much I really didn't know about her life! Have I just forgotten a lot of things from all those years ago or did she just keep most of her busy, stressful life to herself? She was involved in so much and led a fairly stressful life . . . at least during those 8 or 9 years, with a hubby (my Dad) who worked 13 hour days and was hardly home, and being the cook, cleaner, shuttle driver, clothes washer and best supporter and organizer for our family of 8! And on top of that, she held many big church callings (Young Women's President at least 3 different times!), was room Mom on many occasions, prepared meals for neighbors and teachers at our schools, held open houses at their house for friends coming home from missions (where hundreds attended!), volunteered on many different committees, visited the sick and lonely, taught a nursing careers class, etc. The saddest part about all of that is that I really think she has very little recollection of any of that right now. She has lived a long, good, service-filled life, and I think she would be surprised if I told her so. "Oh really?" she would ask. "Well I'm so glad," she would then say.
Here is one of her journal entries I read, from one month before I was engaged and four months before I was married:
October 9, 1990
"What is the meaning of this earth life? Is it folding laundry, cleaning cupboards and shopping? Is it working for pay? Is it serving without pay? Is it devoting full time to being a mother? I know it is short . . . how to fill one's time? I'm 47 - still healthy, still with 5 children left at home, a husband who works 13 hours a day, and is bishop at night and on weekends. I have much responsibility and yet have some time to give. This has been such a soul searching morning . . .
I am looking for a job as a nurse, and even with a nursing shortage, there is a problem unless one wants to work full time or has lots of experience. Little do they know, I'd be a great and dependable worker! :)
Marilyn E. just called and asked if I would teach her mutual lesson for her on Sunday -- yes, I guess I will.
I'm preparing lunch for the teachers at Clayton Jr. High for their Parent/Teacher Conferences this afternoon.
We're trying to decide whether we'll take the family to Israel over Christmas. It's very unsettled over there.
Mike and I just got back from Callaway Gardens in Georgia where he attended an Echocardiography workshop. It was so pleasant and relaxing. While we were there we met a Jewish couple, Jane and Steve T. from Boston. We played tennis, went to dinner twice, and spent some time talking religion. Callaway Gardens was beautiful -- wooded forest with bicycle paths and man-made lakes. Mike and I rode bikes around one of the lakes twice. We also played a lot of singles tennis and Mike was "red hot!" One afternoon I took the car and rode over to La Grange, Georgia. We loved eating grits and potato pancakes." (end of journal entry)
I had one of those, "It's such a small world" experiences last night at a local restaurant, just a few miles from my house. My family met my parents, my older sister Paige, and my sister Katie's family at Corner Bakery because my sister and her family of 7 just moved back from Hawaii after being away for 5 years, and so my Dad arranged to get us all together. When done, we all walked out of the restaurant and most everybody left, but my parents ended up staying in the restaurant to talk to some old friends they had coincidentally run into. My sister and I stood talking and waiting for them outside. When I heard who their old friends were that they had been talking to, I figured out that it was my son-in-law's aunt's parents (are you confused? :)) that I had just heard about last week. I had run into my son-in-law's aunt a week ago who told me that her Mom and my Mom were friends and had been in the same book club for years! It's such a small world! I had to meet them, and so I went back in to talk to them for a few minutes. As we were saying goodbye, a cute gal came up to me and asked me if I was Merrilee Preece's daughter. Long story short, this girl was one of my Mom's Nursing Careers students at East High School years and years ago, and we figured out that she now lives just a few blocks from me with her husband and 6 kids, in my same stake! She went on to tell me how much she LOVED my Mom, and with tears in her eyes, told me how my Mom had really touched her life and influenced her for the good. She had heard of my Mom's sickness and was so sad about it. She had caught of glimpse of my Mom as she was leaving and wanted to talk to her, but didn't think she would remember her. Of course it made me cry too! I knew my Mom had been a well liked teacher, but have not had the chance to actually hear it from her students. My Mom loved them and they loved her! This was pretty cool! I'm so glad I got to meet those people last night and feel blessed to have been in the right place at the right time! I love how small our world is . . . and what connections we can find if we just talk to someone long enough! And, to prove the smallness of the world even more, this old student of my Mom's, Dianne . . her husband's Dad used to be my parent's stake president and are friends with them!
Are you thoroughly confused now with all of my talk of "brother's wife's sister's mother-in-law's mom" talk? :) Probably so! I'm sure it's hard to follow when you don't know who in the heck I'm talking about!
Anyway . . . "It's a Small World After All!"
Flashing back to 4.5 years ago . . .
January 10, 2010
(Unfortunately I didn't write any journal entries during the year 2009 and so I spent January of 2010 catching up with all the little things that had happened and things that had been said from the previous year. Here are a few of those happenings of 2009 . . . )
Quotes from Mom:
"They're both soaps, aren't they? Why does it matter which one we use to wash our hands?" -- This is what my Mom said on December 13th, 2009, when she used dish washing soap instead of dial soap to wash her hands. I guess it's really not that big of a deal that she used dish washing soap, but she legitimately did not know the difference.
"I may not have a brain, but my body is strong!" -- In a lighter, joking moment, my Mom said this as she put both arms up and flexed her muscles! We got a good little laugh.
“They don’t ask me to do much in the ward anymore, but I can still help with things like cleaning the temple." My Mom is fully aware that people are treating her differently and she's not getting any big callings. So instead, she signs up for the many service project opportunities like cleaning the temple and other things. I wonder if she remembers to go to all of them! Hopefully they call to remind her!
“My old tennis friends don’t ask me to play anymore.” Fortunately there IS a group of ladies that do call her to play still and I’m so glad and grateful for that! Thank you ladies!! I don't think she would be happy without her game of tennis that she loves so much! Although she can’t keep track of the score very well anymore, and she knows it, she can still hit a pretty good ball!
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