Dad's Christmas Message, 2014

December 24, 2014
 

Mom with my two oldest in about 1997!

Last Sunday (three days ago) we had a Sunday dinner at my parent's house. It was our usual Sunday dinner that we have with them each month, but we also gathered because my brother and his family were in town from Idaho. We love it when they are in town! 

I've noticed lately that my Mom doesn't participate in our family conversations much anymore. She either sits quietly or gets up and wanders or works on the dishes. I don't think she's able to follow our conversations very well anymore.  Up until just recently, she would try so hard to follow our conversations, asking many questions, but I'm noticing that's happening less and less. I'm thinking it's because she is now frequently confused about who everyone is.

She did something the other night that I've never seen her do before. As some of us were sitting around the dining room table talking after dinner, I watched her lean up against the wall by the front door with her coat in hand, as if she was waiting for someone and in deep thought. I called her name, "Mom" a few times, with no response whatsoever. She seemed very confused.  After a few minutes I walked up to her and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she was wanting to go home, but that "he" (my Dad) would not take her. "I'm so tired and want to go home and he won't take me home." I tried to explain to her that she was in fact home, and even took her into her room to show her that she was home where she should be. I was not successful at all in convincing her. She told me that she had just been staying there and was tired and ready to go home. As I could feel my emotions start to emerge about the whole situation, a great distraction occurred.  My cousin who just returned home from her mission last week showed up at our door!  She was just dropping by to say "hello" and I was so thankful for her and her good timing. Thanks Mary!  That got my Mom's mind off the subject of wanting to go home and we continued to have a good night. My Mom even participated in singing with us around the piano . . as she's always done. 

Here is a short video of some of us singing "Silent Night" . . . 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zgc26_2Dio&list=UUFD4QSKeAsJKcxdHYDIF-5w    

Earlier on that Sunday, my Dad spoke in their Sacrament Meeting during their choir Christmas program. I was sad to miss it, but was also participating in my own Christmas meeting in my own ward.  My sister told me all about his talk and I was anxious to get my hands on a copy of it! Of course my Dad made me a copy . . . and I read it right away. I love the message and great reminders to us . . . of what in the world this earth life is all about! Here it is . . .

      "One day, in the distant past, each of you attended a meeting, or perhaps a series of meetings. You can’t remember these sessions because they happened before you came to earth, when you were in the life before this one—they happened during your premortal life.  In those meetings, your Heavenly Father and perhaps his Son Jesus Christ, or someone they designated, met with you. They explained what lay ahead for you here on earth. Much of what you learned in those sessions was exciting. But it seems likely there were also some parts of what you learned that were frightening. For example, you were told you were going to earth to learn and be tested. And the purpose of this earth is to give you the opportunity to be judged worthy to return home to live forever in the celestial heaven with your heavenly parents, with your Lord Jesus Christ, and with all members of your extended family who are also successful in earning their way back. The thing that likely frightened you, and all of your friends who were with you in those sessions, was that not all of you would be successful in earning your way back home. Some of you would lose track of your eternal goal and be carried away by things of the world. Your success in the world would become more important to you than your yearnings to make your way back home.

          The purpose of my talk today is to remind you that there is someone who is even more concerned and apprehensive than you are about your getting to return home. In fact, the very purpose of his life and work is to make sure you get there (Moses 1:39). This person is deeply committed to do anything he can to encourage and inspire you to keep eternal things uppermost in your mind. Who is he? You’ve already guessed that he is the very person whose birth we celebrate today. He is Jesus Christ, our elder spirit brother and our Lord and God. Today, I’m going to tell you briefly three important things about this individual you must remember. I don’t want you to remember them just today, but it’s vital that you remember them every day.

High school cheerleading days at East High in the late 50's!

His love for you. The first thing I want to tell you is what happens in his heart when he thinks about you. For several years, while our kids were still at home, each spring, Merrilee and I would begin to plan our summer vacation. I remember several times when Merrilee would say to me: “I’ve decided what we should do this summer. Let’s just load up all our kids in the van and set off down the road. It doesn’t even matter where we go. The important thing is that we will all be there in the car together. We can stay in motels. We can talk and share experiences. While we’re with them, we can be sure that all of them are safe and we can hug and interact with each of them any time we want. I really think that sounds fun, don’t you?  What do you think?" I would usually respond by saying, “. . . Really?  Are you sure?” I must admit that I always wondered why my ideas of a good vacation were different than my wife’s. I always concluded that it was just the difference between the mother and the father.

          There is no doubt that there is nothing quite like maternal love. It seems that each mother develops a profound insight and an intense attachment to her children soon after they are born. I think this unique maternal love is a special revelation provided each and every mother. The intimate and true identity of every child is revealed to her at about the same time she begins to bond with her infant child. And she never forgets that knowledge and insight. Fathers love their children too, but their approach sometimes seems to be a bit more practical.

          So what about the Savior? We certainly know that he is all man. No one is tougher or more manly than he is. Yet, I have to reveal something about him to you. I hope he’s not embarrassed or angry with me for pointing this out. Listen to this account, and tell me whether you think it sounds like it’s describing a father or a mother? This individual one day sat on a hill overlooking the city of Jerusalem and spoke to the people of Jerusalem. This is what was said: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem . . . how often would I have gathered [thee] together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under [her] wings, and ye would not!” (Matthew 23:37).  This person yearned to gather his or her children close around him or her, like a hen gathers her chicks. He or she would then know they are secure and safe. Well, you already know who this hen was . . . our Lord Jesus Christ. His love for us is just like a mother’s love but even more perfect.

          The fact is that he loves you as an individual more than you can even understand with your mortal mind. While you may learn hints of how he feels, you cannot actually completely understand his love for you. He desperately wants you home with him forever. There are billions and billions of people who have lived on this earth, but he does not love you just because he loves all these billions and billions. The fact is—and we’re not yet given to understand how he does this—he loves you as an individual and knows you intimately. He knows your name and everything about you. 

          We have reason to believe that the very purposes of his life have little to do with bettering himself. He is fixated on you and your situation. He yearns to have you home one day to live with him forever. The rules of mortality don’t allow him to appear directly to you, but he would have you know that he is always there, right alongside of you. And he has requested that the Holy Ghost make it possible for you to feel that presence from time to time as you wish.

          The metaphor of the walled city.  The second thing you must remember about him is that he has very cleverly placed each of you here today in a particular situation. And again, it is to ensure that you one day will come home to him. This situation is called “a ward.”  A ward?  Am I referring to the Monument Park 12^th Ward? I am. Let me tell you just how he sees this ward and all other wards.  This is made clear in the Old Testament where he uses a metaphor or symbol of the ward to teach its importance.

          In the world, there rages a clamoring of turmoils, evils, and dangers. The people “on the streets” of this world are buffeted and manipulated and constantly placed in physical, emotional, and spiritual danger. It is not safe to be out in this world. But there is in this world a city with very thick, impenetrable, and secure walls. This city represents the Monument Park 12^th Ward, or any ward. When you enter the ward, you enter the city. The heavy door shuts behind you, and all the dissonant noises cease. You notice that there is a quiet spirit of peaceful security in this fortified city. Those who are already there greet you warmly and minister to your needs. They want you to feel comfortable, safe, and loved. They will repeatedly remind you of the rules to make certain you remain in this type of environment throughout your time on earth. In this city you will become just like them. The other people there become more important to you than you are to yourself. You come to want to always be with them and be like them. And you don’t want that relationship to ever end.

          While the wards in the Church may sometimes fall short of this ideal, I want you to know that I personally, over the past almost 40 years in this ward have found this metaphor to be true here in our ward. I cannot adequately describe to you the depth of my experiences and my feelings for you, my ward family.  For those of you as old as I am, we’ve grown old together and we’ve had, at times, to cling to each other to get through it all. I’m profoundly grateful for all you have done for me and for my family and I want to live with you forever. And this is just exactly the way the Lord wants it. In his own spiritual way, he is a member of our ward and enfolds all of us in his arms.

          His understanding of you and your situation is perfect. Just one further thing about him. And for this last characteristic, he paid an unbelievable high price. He understands and empathizes with you in your individual and unique situation perfectly. He knows and feels your joys, your problems, your misgivings, your adversities, your worries, your tragedies, your sorrows. And he doesn’t know these things because he has read about them or because he was told about them or because he observed them. He knows them because he has personally experienced every one of them. For about 21 hours in the Garden of Gethsemane and nailed to a cross at Calvary, his Father—our Heavenly Father—orchestrated a desperately dreadful experience that finally caused Jesus's death. We refer to this as his atoning sacrifice, and he had previously freely agreed to suffer it. And because of it, he has perfect empathy and intimately understands each of us.

Wedding day - July 31, 1964

          Does this mean he knows the loneliness of those who don’t fit in or don't feel handsome or pretty? Does he know what it’s like to choose up teams and be the last one chosen? Does he know the anguish of parents whose children go astray? Does he know the private hell of the physically, emotionally or sexually abused child or spouse? Has he experienced profound depression or anxiety? Does he know what it’s like to be bereaved of a loved one? Has he experienced the pain of losing one’s job and being unable to support a family? Has he experienced every physical agony and fear associated with terminal diseases? Has he suffered extreme starvation? Has he experienced the degradation of profound addiction? Does he know the indignity and despair of slowly becoming profoundly demented? He does. He does.

          Please believe me when I say that—today at this Christmas season and every day for the rest of your mortal life—he is there right next to you. He would take you in his arms and hug you if the conditions of mortality allowed. You are literally never alone, and there is no companion quite like him."

May we remember these things . . . and the reason for the season!  Merry Christmas!