Show affection . . . like a kiss on the nose! :)

May 14, 2014 

Talking to our favorite missionary, Jake, by Skype, May 2014

My oldest son is serving a 2 year mission for our church in Mexico and has been gone for 10 months so far. We had the fun opportunity to talk to him this past Sunday for Mother's Day . . for 90 minutes on Skype!  We laughed, we cried, enjoyed his Mexican accent and savored the whole hour and a half!  We miss him a ton and are trying to convince ourselves that this first year has gone fast!  My parents and sister were able to join in on the call . . . and Matt's Mom too!  I'm glad that they could join us and that Jake was able to talk to his "Gramsies" and Gramps! When he wrote us a letter the next day, he expressed, amongst other things, that he feels that the grandparents all seem about the same except for my Mom, who he could tell is "slowing down a little . . . not a ton, but she did ask me the same question a few times in the span of just a few minutes."  I wonder how much my Mom understood about the whole situation??  Did she know that Jake is our son and is serving in Mexico on a mission? I really don't know, but she seemed to know.  But then as I handed her a small gift for Mother's Day, she said, "Oh, is it Mother's Day today?" We gave her a small plant and yummy chocolate bar and she seemed very grateful!     

I guess earlier in the day that same day, my sister called from Hawaii to wish my Mom a Happy Mother's Day.  At some point in the call, my Mom told my sister that she had a boyfriend.  "You mean Dad?" my sister asked.  "No, I mean I have a boyfriend. . . my husband died."  My sister asked to talk to this "boyfriend."  When my Mom put my Dad on the phone, Katie was relieved to find that it was just my Dad she was talking about. Phew!  My Mom seems to think that right now she's living with this really nice guy who is her boyfriend.  

My Mom is also experiencing some strange delusions lately.  Last week when my Mom and I went on a walk down to an outdoor shopping mall near their house, she talked about a school "up the hill" where she wanted to get another job.  I didn't think a whole lot about it because she's talked about wanting to get a job on a number of occasions . . and wanting to earn her own money.  Yesterday my Dad said she keeps talking about this "school up the hill" where she used to work and where she wants to go get a job.  Interestingly, it's not something she just brings up once, but I guess she's talking about this a lot lately.  Where do these thoughts originate from? Is she thinking of the job she used to have as a nursing careers teacher at East and Highland High, and just wanting a job like that again? I believe that teaching job WAS one of the highlights of her life.  She LOVED teaching those high school kids, and I think the kids loved her too!  

Mom and Dad out in front of our house, Fall 2009

My Dad had a somewhat funny and eye opening experience with this gal that is coming in daily to help clean and be with my Mom. Her name is Mafi and unfortunately I haven't had a chance to meet her yet.  My Dad says she is WONDERFUL!  How lucky we are to find such a great and loving person to help take care of my Mom!  Honestly, it brings me to tears as I think that a total stranger can come into my parent's house and be so loving and caring towards someone they just met! The other day Mafi pulled my Dad aside, and in all seriousness, told him that he needs to be showing my Mom more affection and love. My Dad laughed a little as he told me the story . . . of his "reprimanding by Mafi!" My Dad was a good sport and told her that he would definitely take her advice.  She sounds like she is a very wise woman!  I don't believe it comes natural for my Dad to show affection to my Mom or to anyone in public, but I'm sure he does in private!  It seems that it has always been my Mom who has gone in for a little kiss or wraps her arms around him.  This will be a good challenge for him!  Interestingly, even though my Mom forgets who my Dad is much of the time, and now thinks it's her "boyfriend", I watched her the other day as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him right on the nose.  So cute!  Wish I would have caught a photo!


Flashing back to a little over 4 years ago . . .

At a family reunion in Provo, Utah . . Summer, 2009

January 15, 2010
 
    Wow, it’s been over a year since I’ve sat down to express my thoughts about my Mom.  It’s not that I don’t think about her every single day, and many times a day, but life seems to get away from me.  My six kids are keeping me extremely busy with all of their sports, music, art, scouts etc.  Although I haven’t written, I have been keeping a list of happenings from this past year.  Here are a few things from that list:

    I have really seen a change in my Dad over the past year or so.  I can’t put blame on my Dad in the days that he has seemed impatient with my Mom.  I can only imagine how hard it would be to live with someone 24 hours a day that repeats the same questions over and over and who can’t seem to keep their own life in order.  It would be very difficult and trying on the patience level.  In the last year or so it’s almost as if my Dad has just come to terms with it, and accepted the fact that his wife has Alzheimer’s disease . . . and he’s dealing with it the best he possibly can.  It’s so nice to see him showing her affection and loving her.  She usually initiates the hugs that I see, but that’s usually the way it’s been in the past anyway.

Watching my oldest play in a tennis match, 2009

    I mentioned a new planner that I bought for my Mom 2 Christmases ago to help her keep track of her life. . . well, it didn’t work!  She just kept going back to her old calendar and could never quite figure out the other one.  I think she must have finally just thrown the new one away because I can't find it anywhere.  For a few months I would pull it out and show her how it could be so helpful, but she just couldn’t do it! :(