What does the future hold? That is my biggest fear!

January 6, 2014

I haven't seen my parents since Christmas day, but have talked to both of them on the phone a few times since then.  I guess my Mom has had a few incidences in the last week where she has gotten lost and ended up in someone else's car . . . in one case a total stranger's!  Yikes!

The first incident:  My parents used to have season tickets to the U of U basketball games.  They had them for years and years until they finally sold them a number of years ago.  They occasionally still go though when invited by friends.  Last week they got to go . . and as they were leaving at the end of the game, my Dad said there were swarms of people and he was afraid he was going to get separated from my Mom.  That's exactly what happened!  As he got to the doors to go outside, she was nowhere to be found.  Long story short - after about 30 minutes of searching for her and even some friends helping in the search, my Dad figured that she probably had just started walking home.  He started driving to go find her when he got a phone call from my Mom on a total stranger's phone.  My Mom had told these people that my Dad had left her and could she get a ride?  These strangers were driving her home!  Coincidentally they were not far from my Dad and they met up.  I would have explained to these people what the true story was, but my Dad didn't bother.  I think he was embarrassed and he said he didn't have time to talk to them.  My Mom's belief was that my Dad purposely left her!  :/

The second incident happened last Saturday as I was talking to my Dad on the phone.  Apparently my Mom had just left to go on a walk because she was mad at my Dad.  Lately she's been obsessed with the idea that her tennis friends are leaving her out and not calling her to play like they used to.  It's far from the truth, but my Dad can not convince her of that.  She is convinced that they are playing without her.  I said to my Dad, "Don't you think she's getting to the point where we can't just let her go out by herself?  She's going to get lost one of these days!"  My Dad said that it would be hard to tell her she can't go and to force her to stay home.  He also said that so far she's always been successful at finding her way back home on her own.  Occasionally my Dad will get a call from a neighbor saying they saw her walking in such and such a neighborhood, but she has always managed to get home!  

Well I guess a short time after we got off the phone, my Dad got a call from the Relief Society President in their ward saying that my Mom was down at the tennis club, which is one of the places where she plays tennis that is not really a comfortable walking distance away.  Apparently she had run into a neighbor (that she doesn't know well) and she told this neighbor she needed to get to the tennis club.  This neighbor, not knowing what to do, and not really understanding her condition, drove her down there.  Thinking she may have made a mistake, she drove right to the Relief Society President's house and told her what had happened.  Together they drove back down to the club looking for her.  She wasn't there.  That's when I believe they called my Dad to get in on the search.  My Dad drove down to find the same . . . but luckily around that same time, got a phone call from my Mom saying that she was at "Fresh Market" grocery store.  She was on her way home on foot and I guess borrowed someone's cell phone.  Thank goodness she remembered my Dad's cell phone number!  That's what we're most grateful for . . that she remembered his number!  What would have happened in both incidences if she hadn't?  Well, I guess the strangers would have driven her home from the game, and she would have had to walk home in the freezing cold on Saturday!  

Two Christmases ago all of us kids pitched in and gave my Mom an identity bracelet - a pretty one that looks like a nice pearl bracelet, that has my Dad's number on it.  She didn't have it on at the basketball game, but DID have it on last Saturday!  I think my Dad will make sure she doesn't leave without it from now on!  

My Mom and my oldest and only daughter . . . cabin time in the mid 90's!

My biggest fear is . . . what does the future hold for her?  This is the stage in her disease that I have dreaded the very most!  What else is going to happen?  My fear in the dead of this freezing winter is that she will really get lost!  I think my Dad might be realizing that it might be time to finally bring in someone that can stay with her and help him out a little!  I still want to help him out whenever I can!!  

Flashing back to about 6 years ago . . . 

October 10, 2006

            Coincidentally Matt and I ran into my parents at a party that both of us were invited to, but we didn’t know that each other were going.  It was a western Hoe Down up in Oakley, (a small town in Southeastern Utah) about an hour away from Salt Lake City.  It was fun because there were people my parents age and people our age, and everything in between. 

            We arrived late and my parents were sneaking out early, so I made them come back in with us for a few minutes.  You see, my Dad is not a huge fan of anything that has to do with him having to dance.  He didn’t admit that but I remember he’s been that way since I was just little.  We heard that they had already danced a few square dance numbers so we didn’t put any pressure on them to come dance with us.  To be honest, Matt doesn't love it either!  

            My Mom had forgotten that she had brought a sheet cake to share with everyone.  Everyone was asked to bring something to share and she accidentally left it in their car.  But when we arrived, she remembered and we took it in.  The problem was, everyone had eaten by that time.  She must have asked me at least three times in a ten minute period if I would be sure and bring home her cookie sheet.  I don’t like it when she does that.  It upsets me and it frustrates my Dad.  I always just pretend like she is asking me for the first time.  I don’t want to upset my Mom!  My Mom also asked my Dad about three times where her purse was.  My Dad repeatedly replied that she probably left it in their car.  

Summer of 2012 . . . with sis-in-law, Mom and sister!

My parents are such great people.  Why is this happening to us at this time?  I’m not sure I’m ready for all of this!!  I’ve already cried a million tears and I’m sure there’s a million more to come.

I used to think that it would be easier to lose someone close to me in a quick accident, but I think I’ve changed my mind.  Although I believe this is the hardest thing that I will ever have to go through, this is better.  It gives me time to remember all the great things about my Mom, and time to appreciate her and all her goodness!  I definitely am grateful for every little bit of time that I can spend with her, and of course with my Dad too!