My funeral talk!

February 3, 2016

My extended family received so many nice compliments about the funeral for my Mom last week! The thing I loved to hear the most was that people went away from the funeral feeling so good, inspired, uplifted and with the desire to be a little better. I'm so glad that people want to make little changes in their life all because of the life of my Mom! She would be so happy knowing that her life is making a difference!

One friend sent me a text a day or two after the funeral that said . . .  

Mom wanted to make sure that Mike, my brother, was making time for the fun things in life and on his mission, along with all the serious stuff! Mom was always up for some fun and adventure and she wanted to make sure we didn't take life too seriously.

In addition to this, there are so many things I will remember about my Mom's life and I will strive for the rest of my days to carry on her awesome legacy! 

My Dad and two brothers right before the funeral!

In addition to my Dad speaking at the funeral, I spoke along with 3 of my siblings. Here is my talk from that day . . . and I hope to collect the other talks as well for future blog posts! I talked about a handful of those "things" that I will remember about Mom's life!  

Mom’s Funeral . . . "I Will Always Remember . . ."

January 25, 2016

I am known as the family crybaby! Although I’m only supposed to be talking about 5 minutes today, my family has teased me that I need at least 15 minutes in order to get through it.  Let‘s hope not!  I can do this! 

I’ve thought about and dreaded this day, the day of my Mom’s funeral, for such a long time now and I’ve tried to imagine what it might be like. It’s hard to believe that’s it’s really here! 

Our whole family has been overwhelmed with all the love and support we have received from you . .  the meals, flowers, the texts and phone calls and so much more!  We have learned from you what it means to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort! I hope to be able to mourn and comfort others as you have done for us! You have made all the difference as we have grieved over these past many years!  
  

Boys at the grave site after the funeral

 Yes, it is a great relief to us that she is finally free of her disease and finally at peace in her healthy mind . . . . but it’s also one of the saddest and hardest times in our lives because we will miss so much one of our very favorite people in all the world!

At the beginning stages of Mom’s disease, she would often express to me her concern that people would only remember her with her failing mind and not when her mind was healthy. I have assured her over the last 10 plus years that we will make sure that she is remembered for who she really is and was. Interestingly though, It’s not just the memories of her before the disease that I want to hang on to, but some of the sweet memories during the disease as well! 

There are just so many things I will always remember about my Mom and I want to tell you just a few of those things!

 Son Jake and bro, Mike

I remember driving in the car with my Mom when I was little and she would ask me, “Who do you think you are going to marry? What do you think your future husband is doing right now?” She was a deep thinker who always seemed to be aware of living life in the present and to the fullest! I loved when she would stop what she was doing and say, “Just think . . we are here right now.” She would literally and figuratively always “stop to smell the roses!”

Of course I will remember our hundreds of hikes and walks, and talks along the way! For the last couple of years I have tried to take my Mom on weekly field trips and hikes and we have had some memorable and priceless times! She is a nature lover and so am I and I have loved being able to share that with her!  On our hikes she would often say, “let’s go see what’s around that corner", often requiring us to climb steep hills or going to uncharted territory  . . . but of course I was always game to go see what we could find around those corners!

I will always remember the thoughtful birthday and Valentine’s cards Mom would send in the mail. They stopped coming about 5 or so years ago but I will miss them expressing her love and appreciation for us. Thankfully I have held on to many of them in my save box which will always be treasures to me! 
 

Family lunch after the funeral with Matt and cousin Brooke

I will remember our bike rides and rollerblading adventures back in the day . . . I loved that she was always up for an adventure.  Even in the last 10 years, Mom managed to ride her bike to my house in Draper all the way from her house . . . about 20 miles!

And our many shopping trips where we would always stop and have an Orange Julius and Mrs. Field’s cookie at the mall. Mom loved to shop!  

I will remember Mom’s many nicknames . . . Mem, Memsie Bob Doodle Toots, Merlee, Buzzie, Z Bob, Mims, Mumsie, Madre, Meermore, and more!  

I’ll never forget Mom chasing me around the house one morning back when I was a teenager as she was trying to get me to fess up that I had received my first kiss the night before from my now husband. She finally cornered me and told me that she just knew it because of how I had been acting! There was no keeping secrets from her!  

20 of the 30 of us cousins at the funeral lunch!

I’ll never forget learning the valuable lesson of having to face consequences from our actions. I remember coming home from school on a few different occasions to find garbage cans that had been emptied onto my floor by Mom, with the garbage cans sitting there . . . the same garbages that she had probably asked me a handful of times to empty that morning. I know I deserved it! It was horrible picking up everybody’s yucky garbage off my floor but I am sincerely thankful for the lessons I learned. 

When I was a dating teenager, Mom would often stay awake until we all came in for the night. We had our curfews and were expected to be in at a certain time.  I’ll never forget getting home one night after being out with Matt, my now husband, and it was after 1:00 in the morning. She wasn’t in bed as she usually was, but was sitting at the kitchen table in her robe with a not-so-happy look on her face. I hated disappointing her like that but still remember how calm she was that night. She was a patient lady!  

I will remember the arm and head rubs we would give each other, her cartwheels, headstands and heel clicks, her beautiful cursive handwriting, putting her leg up on the counter and striking a dancing move, her aromas, her delicious orange rolls, homemade sweetrolls and  donuts, her cheese fondue and many other great dishes . . 

I will remember as a little girl Mom wouldn’t let me get down from the kitchen table until I had eaten at least 3 bites of my spinach or other yucky veggies that I used to hate. I will remember her hugs and kisses and watching her plant big kisses on my Dad right in front of us kids on numerous occasions. I pretended not to like it but secretly I loved the fact that 
they showed such affection towards each other. 

My siblings, Cam, Mike and Katie, and niece Grace

I will remember her sweet tooth and great love of all kinds of sweets, taking her thousands of pictures and covering one eye up with her left finger . . . singing alto alongside her, sharing clothes with her, painting her nails, her “jibbies” (a little pinchy pinch of the lower part of ones bottom), her social grace that she kept to the end, her classiness, her spunk, her love of dancing, her love of Coca Cola (and not diet!), her addiction to chapstick which she passed on to me, her sense of humor, her journal keeping, playing the hymns on the piano, her cooking advice, her phone calls and great listening ear and advice! 

One of the most important things I will always remember is my Mom’s strong love of the Savior, her strong testimony of the gospel and her great love of all people. Mom loved people and served and loved to the end even while she was sick. 

Growing up I remember so many times when Mom would be going to visit the sick, or taking a meal to someone or welcoming an old student or young woman into our house. She had a way of making everybody feel like they were the most important person in the world! I loved reading the messages from all of you missionaries that all seemed to say that same thing . . that she made you feel like a million bucks! I know that she loved you missionaries, you nursing careers students, her Young Women, her kids she taught in the detention center, her tennis team kids that she coached, her tennis friends, her book club friends, her grandkids, Dad, and all her many other friends and family! She told me on many occasions how blessed she feels that she has had such a great life with so many wonderful people in it! 

Josh, my youngest, after the funeral

In conclusion . . . I was Christmas shopping a month or so ago and feeling stressed out with all I had to do and with all I had going on in my life at that time. In addition to all the craziness that Christmas brings, I was worried about my Mom as I thought of her sitting in her room at her care center, most likely alone and not doing much of anything. This thought made me so sad, as I’m sure I shed a tear or two as I thought about her, but then the thought came to me, “What a lucky lady my Mom is! She did it! She’s done! She made it through this sometimes so difficult trial called life! And not only did she make it, but she made it through with flying colors in my opinion! “She has fought the good fight, she served and loved her fellowman (a little addition to the scripture), she finished her course, and kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7)  

Pall bearers on a beautiful wintry and sunny day!

Look at all these people, Mom, that are here for you! We all love you so much and thank you for touching each of our lives for good! I feel so blessed to have gotten you as my Mom and so look forward to the hereafter where we will get to dance and sing together and hike to our hearts content in those heavenly hills! I hope to feel you close during this brief period of separation. Please stay close and know that we will be thinking of you and remembering you always!  

I love you Mom and will miss you more than words can ever express . . . but know we will be able to see you again one day!

Can't wait for that day!